Smash Me Customer Doll

I would design a smash me customer doll. It would have a detachable head with multiple different heads that you could replace it with. Working in the department store industry I have dealt with several customers that I wish I could strangle them and I know that I'm not the only one.
I had a customer come in the other day asking to return and Xbox that his kid had smashed out of frustration with a game. When I told him we could not accept it he got mad stating he had just bought it two weeks ago and we should take it back and give him a new one. I told him that if it was damaged when he took it out of the box I could return it but because it was damaged by his kid after he had used it then it voided the warranty.
I also hate the customers that come in five minutes before closing and then get mad when you tell them they have to leave at closing time. They knew that the store was closing because I told them when they walked and it is posted on the door but they think that just means you have to be in the door and then you can stay until you are done shopping.